A Little Intro

I'm not sure how to begin. I've gone back and forth on creating a blog now for quite some time and I finally gave in. I've created a multitude of blogs over the past few years and without fail, the blogs well, fail. I get too busy to maintain it or I lose interest because I feel like I'm whining or I worry that this will somehow be tracked down to me and interfere with my "real" life or any other possible excuse. Two years ago I had a blog and it successfully helped me lose around 10 pounds in a month, although probably not in the healthiest of ways.

I was eating about 300 calories a day, if that. I was chewing and spitting and purging if I thought I had accidentally swallowed too much. I remember being incredibly sick when I did start eating normally, which only made me more convinced that food was the enemy at the time.

This isn't a pro-ana blog, this isn't a recovery blog, this is just a thoughts blog.

My weight has always been in the forefront of my thoughts. My sister and my mom are both... troubled in the mental department when it comes to food and I am no exception to this family curse. I have bouts of eating next to nothing, punctuated by month long binges... My roommates are appalled by my infamous "Fat Wrap". I slather together cheese, bacon, french fries, mozzarella sticks, ranch, and fried chicken fingers together into a wrap. At 5'1" or 5'2", one of these Fat Wraps is probably more than the caloric recommendations for two days.

But, this is not a food porn blog either. I do have a problem with the over-eating/under-eating cycle, but I'm trying to completely change my habits. Over the last few months I've started to eat better and have tested out a few of the workout programs that BeachBody has developed.

So, I will set some goals:

• Weigh 115 lbs or less by June
• Weigh under 110 lbs by the end of the summer
• Weigh under 105 lbs by Halloween
• Weigh under 100 lbs by the end of the year
• A food binge must only happen at most ONE day in a row
• Cannot go more than 3 days without working out without an EXTREMELY valid excuse
• To not use "too much work" as an excuse to not work out
• To not use "too tired" as an excuse to not work out before 11 pm
• To adhere as much as physically possible to my crazy exercise schedules
• Spend more time following a workout calendar than making it
• Always eat some type of breakfast
• Never consume more than 2,000 calories without a valid excuse
• No binge drinking
• Avoid ordering out at all costs
• To remember not to be too strict
• To be able to run around the lake in a sports bra comfortably by the end of the summer
• Go to the pool all summer without feeling self conscious
• Fit into size 0 jeans